Medium isn’t a moneymaking website for me, I’m not writing articles here for the sake of money or viewership but the sake of writing it. I’m hoping it’ll allow me to tap into myself and hopefully soothe my ever-exhausted brain from it’s intrusive thoughts.
First Off: Adult Relationships means you can text anyone at any time.
While it was pretty common to not text first or to keep counts in friendships when you were younger, it is simply not the case anymore. Some people around you might not have evolved just yet, but showing that you care, or simply sending in a checking-in text is going to help you build and cherish relationships.
People who aren’t similar to you are as fucked up as you are, let’s face it…we all grew up with social media and Instagram and Facebook. These are platforms where people upload only the best versions of themselves, the parties they go to, the 2 hour fun part of the 2 day work conference they were at, or just the sunset. It may look beautiful and give you shitloads of FOMO, its simply not true. No one uploads their sad hours, except on twitter, that place is weird. No one uploads their breakdowns or the hours they spend behind the screen coming up with the things you envy so much. Once you realize this, read it again and again and again. Until you internalize it, people’s perfect lives on social media are rarely ever that perfect in real life. Don’t beat yourself for feeling left out on those stories.
People love you way more than you think
I have never been more afraid of anything in my life than before I was about to tell my friend that I’ve been contemplating suicide. Honestly, I didn’t even ask for help, I just told them that and they started crying. Crying at the thought of me being in the pain that would drive me to this. That moment was an eye opener for me because I really did not expect anyone to care this much, and helped me out. Confide in your friends, trust me, the world isn’t as bad.
Always tell people how you feel.
This is somewhat in extension to the last point, but I think it deserves its very own point. If you’re falling for someone, Tell them how you feel, but don’t just slide in their DMs and confess your undying love for them. Show them first, by making effort. Allowing a relationship to bloom, and then ask them out. This is important!!
Invest in the relationship you have with your self
Families drift apart, friends move to other cities, spouses get divorced and couples break up. Most relationships in the world come to an end, except the relationship you have with yourself, this relationship is with you to the grave, so cultivate it. Feed yourself good things about you, cut down on the self hate. Let yourself feel what you’re feeling. If you struggle with self-image issues, work on them. Get a counselor, read a book, cry it out. Detach your inherent self worth from your physical appearance, and then work on it if you still want to. Whatever you do, do it healthily, and trust you know when you’re doing things healthily.